I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The uberlube is also flammable
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize