You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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