I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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