do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
