She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
