the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
