Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
