All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
