he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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