Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize