yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
