we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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