I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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