idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
