i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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