you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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