making cat noises will not fix the situation.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
