I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
