Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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