Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars

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(678): View more from Georgia

He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend

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(785): View more from Kansas

Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".

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(661): View more from California

Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance

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(312): View more from Illinois

I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".

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(727): View more from Florida

We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.

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