New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
