haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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