quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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