i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Randomize
