They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I love you. Go after that dick
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
