I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
