We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
