A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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