he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize