Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
