It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
