you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
