Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
