The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
