North Korea, Best Korea!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
