I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize