he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
