I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Did I show you my penis last night?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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