Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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