so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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