i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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