Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The uberlube is also flammable
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
