i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Soap is not a condiment
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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