He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
