Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
