You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
