I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
