He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
