Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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