So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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