I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
