I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
