The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
