there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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