Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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