I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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