Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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