Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
