Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
