i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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