Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
