My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
sarcasm needs its own font
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
