he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
