You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
