...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
How external is "for external use only"?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
