This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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