So drunk its hurt
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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