great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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