Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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