There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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