whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
