5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
