That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
my nose is crying tears of wow.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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