my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
