Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
