I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My penis needs a shock collar
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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